And the melody begins..
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Tuesday, March 30, 2010 @ 9:54 AM Linn NEEDS to RELAX Suddenly things start to crumble again. The hell? Urgh! Anw, all I wana say is by hoping too much, you fall much harder. Everyone knows that. Only the dumbest of the dummies will repeat the cycle all over and over again despite knowing so. Im the dumbest. And so, I've decided that after work today I will head down to a manicurist to do my nails. Not that I cant do it myself. But I just feel like pampering myself and RELAX. No idea where to head to for now. Hmmm.. Will think bout it later. Oh yeah. 1st Im on leave. Just wana R&R. Its been awhile since I can sleep in late late late and then just laze in the pool and float around malls. Not like I'll get things done or sth. Budden even doh I know the fact Im wasting time lazing around. At least Im enjoying and relaxing myself. Thats my bday treat to myself. Yay! Haven been in good mood since yst. Thus I dug into icecream - Triple Choc and Macademia Swirl and this morning I had kaya toast. Which, when left for a while, its chewy and taste a lil puke-ish.. Guess I'll skip lunch. Feeling all so bloated and yucky. =/ Just hope the meet up will be fine. All I want is to relax/nua/chill. Get my mind off things. Thats the best. There are loads of ways to destress. And the best 2 (based on facts) are things I cant fulfil - coz Im poor and.. .. So, the only other ways are Kbox, movies, themeparks, sleep, sleep, sleep, and more sleep.. =) I kinda dun look forward to anything. Much. The fact that things are gonna get last minute and uncertain.. Ha! Totally not my cup of tea. Surprises are surprises. But impromtu is impromtu. Totally hate things not planned out. Waste of time. Happy thing is, gonna have a "long break".. In a sense. All thanks to Good Friday just before my bday. So got PH. Shiok! Would be even better if I could getaway for 3D2N.. Even if its Batam or wherever, I dun mind lo. Serious. Might not get iPhone. I rather save up the $. Since there are...... Not that I dun mind or mind. Budden this kinda things, expected one. So, its just silly of me to pin on hopes. Not that without an iPhone I'll die. Its just a want. A fantasy. So screw you, iPhone. I don't NEED you. All I need is a WIFI PHONE! Lesson learnt. But I know I'll make the same mistake again by pinning hopes. Well, I'll just hafta improve, eh? Another lesson is, by treating others too good doesnt mean they appreciate it. I do not wish for favours to be reciprocrate. BUT. At least appreciate. But no. Since you (all) take it for granted. So be it. Before I reach my threshold, you (all) better pray you dun take it too far. Else, it will be ugly. Gonna go for a drink later. Bubble tea counted as drink right? Yeah. Good. Anw, going for a drink later. Hmm.. Not sure if there's pudding milk tea. Feel like drinking. Sunday night dad brought back my fav portugese egg tarts. But I din have the appetite to eat. That made me rmb! I wana try out mum's peppermint tea later! Woohoo! Ok. Time to do work. Till then!! =) Yearning for the crispy wind against my skin, the sound of crashing waves & the smell of saltwater.. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Sunday, March 28, 2010 @ 2:01 AM Reflection It makes me think whenever ppl starts talking. Whether does it involves me anot, it doesnt matter. What matter is what can I learn from that statement/question. For example, today I was just kinda having a take-it-easy-but-kinda-serious talk with someone whom I haven seen for a while. Things happened in our individual lives and what not. (Ok. Thats not the point) The point is, a topic we talked about made me ponder about it and enlighten me. At least for now. She mentioned about being myself. As in, why wear a mask when thats the true you? I make me think twice thrice again. Coz I've been thinking. Ever since I took off that mask (for at least coming a yr), ppl have been able to read me like a book. I kinda dun like that. It made me feel vulnerable. Maybe coz in the past, Im always the happy me. Forever happy one. Like no worries. Budden when I took off that mask, the real me isnt that happy afterall. And it seems, things din turn out so well since then. And ppl around me kept calling me emo and what not. That sucks. A few post before this, I mentioned about me thinking whether to put on that mask back. And that was how that topic started. Im someone whom prefers to be addressed to the matter directly and not beat around the bush. And thats why I really appreciate those whom tell me directly what they think/feel despite knowing the fact that it might hurts. Coz, thats then the real TRUTH. Because.. The truth hurts. Get it? For those blurr ones, it means that these are the real ones whom care. And so, I started to think and reflect and rule out the different ways of improving. Then I came to a conclusion that: I will not wear back the mask. I will be who I am. Be it happy or not happy. I will show it out. Yet, I will retain some from within if not necessary. Bcoz there's nth cool about showing off your anger and whatnot when its just a small matter or nth to be fussy about. And that brings me to another point. I duno if its PMS or stress or not enough slp or whatever crap. Nowadays I've been easily agitated and pissed. I have no idea why. Like just now, we were supposed to watch Pandora Box. I was so looking forward to it. Thats why when Anqi called to say it was sold out. I was disappointed and moodless all of a sudden, esp when I wanted to watch a movie so badly. A comedy one. She suggested watching When in Rome instead.. When in Rome.. Whats that man? I din even know what is that! =,=" And when I heard its a love story.. =/ All I can think of is.. Okie~~ It seems like Im in the wrong mood.. Yet, it ended up damn nice! Its actually love story but with tonns of humour in it! I LOVE IT! =D I feel (and now still) like an ass when I kinda "HUH~ But I wana watch comedy show leh.." when Rainnie told me the (unwanted) change of plans =,=" Kaos. Wtf is wrong with you, Linn? MD. And then when I called mum to inform her I'll be back late.. My ear got a rather "good" lesson.. How great. =/ *blew out a sigh* I kinda thank God that my dad is away for 5days. Coz these 5 days have been roller-coasty. As in, up downs, up downs, like roller coaster ride. And then things started picking up.. And then all those late night hanging out and loitering around till Im bored & tired before heading home.. Outing with BFF and parties and what not. Hurrr. If not today both ears sure got alot of work to do.. =X P.S: Note its single up and plural downs. :) P.P.S: The movie made me think of Hana & Hafiz. Coz their at Italy NOW! Honeymoon.. AWwww~~ >< Its 2.40am. Am gonna turn in really soon. Blogged coz tml will be a whole day out with guildies. The only sad thing is Eddie & Evvie (might, or rather, most prob) not able to come. Sigh. I really miss Evvie Lubbu alot man. ='( Of coz, I miss Eddie too. Someone whom dote me and we kinda "gam" one.. Haiss... Sadded. Budden at least I getta see Dixon and (probly) hear him call me "Da jie~~~" (P.S: I dun like being called till so old la.. Budden, I just miss him calling me so. ;) P.P.S: Dixon, dun fly when you read this ar. =P) Yeah. Not really keen to see domo even doh I miss him too. Coz, he always disturb me de. But, nth to be afraid of la. Bro will be there. So, yeah. ^^ Hopefully I've the strength for bball and snap snap and then steamboat (eww~) the whole of tml. Have changed some appts for Monday to slot in some other stuffs. Hopefully these few days things will turn out well. To be honest. I only wish for my life to be happy. Seriously, I dun think material things can make me happy for my bday. My wish is only to be happy. And this is the crucial week. So, I just pray nth bad/sad/whatsoever crap (OMG! Doesnt it sounds hip? Ok. Im just imagining. Its late. Im getting cranky.) will happen in this week. All I want for my 22nd. (Dang! I feel old all of a sudden!!) A new resolution. A new revelation. These 2. Most impt. Will go on veg fast on Mon & Tues and see how things goes. Coz Wed onwards will be eat like I've nv eat before =,=" Sigh. FATTY LINN IS GETTING FATTER! HOW WONDERFUL!! =,=" Ok. Am really tired. 2.45am. Blah. My eyes are giving up on me. Im slouching. Bro's asleep. The aircon's on. The fan's blowing at me. My hp's beside me shouting "HEY YOU. IM DYING. CRITICAL LOW BATT. YOU UNDERSTAND ME? WHY DUN YOU HURRY AND SAVE ME?". And most imptly, my darling Eeyores are calling me, asking me to hug them.. Wuhu!! xD And so, cranky Linn stops here. Am not gonna go through my spelling check. So when Im in office on Monday, will check if I've typed rubbish or have tonns of spelling mistakes. Thus, if I wrote sth stupid or offensive, PLEASE! ignore. I will edit when I get to my blog again. And yes, when Im awake and sane. Promise. Till then! Disappointed. You've failed twice, on the same issue despite knowing its urgent. Well, maybe there's a reason.. I don't know.. Thought of going to your workplace for a meal. Yet, its buffet. But, if I dun choose buffet and get ala carte instead, like not worth. Dang it! Why issit so tough? Anw, duno who to ask to go with me. Sigh.. Wonder how are you doing. Yet.. =/ Anw, I've survived that Friday. Bet you din feel a thing, eh? P.S: No worries peeps. Im fine. Really. Just glad it din hurt as much as before. Yay! linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Thursday, March 25, 2010 @ 9:32 AM Comedy? This might be funny and dramatic. Budden its true. Ha.. Yst when I was on my way to meet Kl, I felt faint. The last experience was when I first donated blood with CHC members. That time, I fainted for 1.5hrs after being too hyped in "pumping" blood. Yst, it was the same experience. Just that this time round, I was moving and feeling faint. And I was in wedges. When I board the bus, my visual and hearing were alr muffled. My visual is like those olden days where there isnt reception on the tv, that black/whitish/greyish zeet-zeet! screen.. Yeah. That was what I felt. Thank God it was only a stop. I was heading to Ehub to meet BFF. It was that bad that I had to grip unto the pole so tightly it turned white. My whole body felt so heavy and I had to struggle to keep my balance, for the bus is full. All I could do was tilt my head and breathe! Take huge amount of Oxy into my brain. That was what they did when I fainted during my "wonderful but memorable" experience of blood donation. I did feel slightly better. But it doesnt make that muffledness go away. I alighted and was glad I din fall. To be truthful, during the whole journey (just one stop but it felt like...... O.M.G!) I was scared. Yet prepared, that I might faint. Moreover, this is not the first time. P.S: There was once I fainted while my dad was lecturing me in my Tamp home. Haha! Comedy I tell you. Seriously, I was prepared. The only thing is, this time, Im all alone. So my mind was in a frantic. Thinking of what might happen and yada. The first person in my mind, of coz, BFF. Coz she'll be on her (as usual, late) way here.. So, yeah. After I alighted, I sat down immediately and tilt my head backwards. I was shocked when I touched my forehead that I was sweating. It wasnt beads. It was like.. WATER lidat. I used my fore-finger to swipe past my forehead and it came back dripping. Stun. I then message BFF about the comedy. The only few reasons I can think of is: - Not enough sleep - Been "swinging" recently - Tired out mentally & physically - Aftermath of that "dangerous" piercing - Busy day yesterday, that I din even have time for meals, only a oat+fruit bar - Am "bleeding" And my final verdict is that because Im bleeding yet I din get proper intake of food, nutrients, yada.. Thats why will feel faintish. That was what happen during my blood donation too. I was donating blood. Yet I din have some slight food few hrs before. Woot. P.S: Shell darling, correct me if Im wrong. Haha. After I felt better, I walked to Ehub. Bought OCK's curry puff to eat. And then walked to Kbox to check in the room. Sat there. Nua. Din really feel like singing all of the sudden. Budden still started moving my fingers and eyes. Started singing only half an hour after I went in. BFF came at 8pm. She bought snacks up for me to eat. Hehe. So sweet.. I felt much better. Drank water to keep myself refresh. Despite feeling a lil =/.. It was manageable. BFF asked what happen to me. (Seems like there are many whom duno how to approach) Coz she was like, half singing.. Half asking. Like, unconcern.. Or just a by-pass question.. yet, she was like, looking at my reaction. Ha.. Adorable. So I told her lor. Not very in depth lar. Budden she knows what are the main reasons and yada yada lor. Yup. After which, she continue singing like nth happen. This is just so Kl~ LOL. P.S: BFF is turning into a pretty babe. Look at her "touching up".. Jeez. Hiao! Budden, I like! ;D We sang till approx 11.15pm when mum reached Ehub to fetch me. She went to pick up grandma. Whom, they both when for funeral wake, but different place. Reached home about 11.45pm. Bathed and fell asleep immediately. So darn tired. Woke up today with a dream. Dreamt of my dad sia. =,=" Coz he went overseas ma.. Till 28th. Then I was like, thinking of telling him sth.. In the end I dreamt of me telling him that sth in my dream.. woot. I ended up msging him on my way to work. Gonna head home early today. Really is damn tired. Probly reach home by 8pm and K.O by 9pm (if there's nth to do).. Coz tml going for 91.3fm GEEKS PARTY. Woohoo. xD Am gonna charge my Apple and snap snap snap. Gonna be nerdy. Have yet to decide what to wear. Will most prob in jeans, was thinking of a normal blouse, and then tie half-hair or pleats, wear contacts with the not-really-nerdy spects, and, flats? o.O I guess? Hurr.. No idea sia.. I only know whenever I think of what Ong say: "Aiyah.. All wear Siglap uniform" I wana burst out laughing! xD Well, guess those babes will be in sch uni.. Like ubper shortttttt skirts and all. *Ahem* The guys will be delightful. =P Cant wait for tml.. Drink like a fish. =X P.S: Ok lar. Cant drink much. Next day working. Hangover = GG. Yeah. Im glad we spoke. And I thank God for placing you in my life. Despite the seh you have.. Deep within, you are always so concern & loving. Thanks for your understanding, opinion and forgiveness. I love you just like how I've always had. Im still helping you source a lower price for your PSP. The rest are all so high. =/ Hope I can help you find one with a good price. ;) P.S: Apart from that, I have something for you. I got it last week but din have a chance to pass to you coz din meet up. The next time then. No hurry actually. Coz the expiry date is end of this year. ;) Life is.. picking up. Again. Im glad. And it's all thanks.. to you. =) Planning to do foot scrub, body scrub and facial tonight.. Yums~ Cant wait.. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Wednesday, March 24, 2010 @ 9:40 AM Push away Am just gonna work, blast, drink, sing, whatsoever.. As long as it keeps my mind of things. Really trying my best to pick myself up. Those that bth my pathetic side, bear with me. Please. Coz Im standing up by my own. Thus I need some time. Appreciate it loads. Thanks. Today, ... you can easily let others know in a very low key manner exactly how you feel about things without forcing the issue at all. You might find yourself surprised with just how easy it is to slip your ideas into a conversation, as this will have a much greater impact than if you try to force things today. Once again your intuition will play a role, and you will be given the signs necessary to see the progress you have been waiting for.. Will I be able to salavge this matter by my own..? By my own.. .. Who is there to guide me, to save me.. from this churning whirlpool? Even if I got a million dollar, I wun be happy.. Milk Tea cant save me.. from this. Not even easing the pain.. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010 @ 6:40 PM Drowning Drowning in saltwater. Not thinking of coming out. Doing OT for free just so I have things to do and a place to pour out whenever I want to and no one will know. Freezing but I dun feel like wearing my jacket. Hungry but I dun feel like eating the caesar salad on my desk. Thinking of staying till 10pm before heading home but I dun think the security allows. I shall stop writing before I start my nonsense childish stuff again. Bye. All I want is a place to hide and cry. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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@ 5:17 PM Conclusion I have conclude that life sucks. And the reason is coz of Linn sucks. Its co-related. Yup. Details are kept confidential. I do not wish to face anyone anymore. I just wish to disappear. Why does it hurts so badly? I dun even feel like working. So many things to rush. Yet I totally have no motivation. My caesar salad is at my desk. Have not taken lunch. Yet, I do not have the appetite. There is no more happy Linn. Thats for sure. So even if you see me smile and look darn happy. Forget it. Thats just a mask. Call me a hypocrite. Call me whatever you want. I dun care. Unless you want to see a emo-forever Linn, tell me. I will just be who I am. I will not even attend anything. Try me. I mean it. What I worry about isnt my own problem. Is what others will feel. All along I have been doing so. I dun give a damn about myself. Yet everyone thinks likewise. Ha. Alright then. When I say this, ppl think likewise. When I say that, ppl jump into their own conclusion. Fine. Might as well I dun say anything. Since no one believes me. Leave me alone. I dunnid your pity or concern. I just wana be alone. FUCK THE WORLD. SCREW YOU. For making me tear. Sorry to whomever I've hurt unknowingly. Sorry to whomever I've made angry unknowingly. I din mean it. I swear. To lubbu & Dixon, Im sorry. Terribly sorry. I cant be that happy Linn anymore. Dunnid to worry about me. Coz, this is part and parcel of life. I will survive. I love you both. To Kl, can I hug you and cry? Please? I really need a hug so very badly. I cant believe Im tearing in my office while typing this post. Linn, you suck! Sorry will never be enough to mend anyone's hurt. Thats why I wish I disappear. Thats the best. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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@ 9:19 AM Looking forward Am really trying my best to look forward. Hurr. So bless me, those whom love me. =) Cant believe Im seeing my lovies on Sun. Am so darn excited. I wana hug Lubbu till she cant breath. Ok. Im kidding. Not sure about sports day thingy. Restless la. And, Im kinda zombified. Everyday sleep less than 5hrs. Xiong leh. I old liaos. =/ (Okie~ Taboo. I shouldnt have said that. I might wake up looking like an old hag tml. Craps!) Guess I wun be able to go overseas on 3rd & 4th after all. So 3rd I should be working PL lor. This month really must earn more even if tired. Am taking full cover of my hp bills and yada yada. =/ 4th.. Not sure yet. Budden was kinda pre-booked budden pending coz of some situation. So, yeah. Since there is no news on A, B & C.. I shall just see how it goes. As I've said, if there is no action done, then so be it. Im not gonna put effort into it. If there is, there is. If there isnt, there isnt. P.S: Quite shock to see BFF so intense to make sure Im "HERS" on the 1st. LOL. P.P.S: And am happy to hear that Dixon say: "You are OURS! on the 28th!" LOL. Cute lar. I miss you all la! =P I hope by the time comes, I will have the mood to take pic and smile and be merry. Coz I dunwan ppl to start worrying abt me when they see me. So probly, worst come to the worst, last resort - mask. =) I dun mind. Even doh a lil lost touch coz I've decided not to be a fake person infront of my dear ones. Budden sometimes, I guess there aint a choice. Put yourself in my shoes and probly you will understand better. Am not in a good mood today. Neither in a bad one. Just very lethargy and restless. Came out of Outram MRT and it was monkeys & donkeys whom greeted me. How nice. What a great weather to be home in bed sleeping. Aww.. I totally miss my pillow. Speaking about pillow. Im not gonna be a "good" daughter anymore. =X Mum has been hypnotizing me in not getting a new softie pillow. Budden not anymore. Am (die die!) gonna get one. Teeheehee! If I go overseas I will bring it along. =P Muahaha. P.S: Currently my huggie is that eeyore. Candy's eeyore is the one on my left. Meeyoke's huge eeyore is at the corner coz its too huge to hug to bed. I might die of suffocation. (I hug Meeyoke's eeyore when I sit on bed to use com) Az's chipmunk cushion is on off being my headrest =X Budden its really doing a great job sia. The height just nice. xD Slept at 3am yst. Was thinking of some stuffs. Nothing much in particular. Just, think about anything that comes to my mind and then, as usual, branch out to various other thoughts. It last for an hour or so. I wonder what he thinks of me when I said I had had 4.. And he agrees that BFF is a mei nv.. Wuahaha. Good good. Now he knows my 2 girls & guys besties. *Ahem* Erm.. BFF of coz, and Shell. =X (Well, this.. I can only say coz we msg more often, then got once he saw the pic. And then I told him "pretty hor? princess leh" (coz I name Vesire each individual as Disney princess mah; e.g.: Cinderella 公主) So yah lor. Guys bestie is Seb & Ong lar.. Bro dunnid to say. Alr know. LOL. And, he kinda saw his pic liaos. Hurr.. Wasnt deliberate. Just, yeah. The caption gave him away. He din say much about anything lar. Budden asked how we know each other (everyone) yada yada and I just yabber on. =X Lidat lor.. Hmm.. Kinda worried about his work stuffs coz of several issue. =/ Duno what would his decision be.. Budden I guess, I will sound out to him my opinion (which I've done, actually) and the rest is up to him lor.. Will be having Caesar salad from CBTL. Coz the points expire this March. So, just use lor. Will head down to Vivo for the salad. Probly will shop around first before ta bao-ing my salad. Woohoo~! =D Im hungry alr. So I shall head off now. Gonna drink my hot choc (DAMN! I FORGOT TO GET MARSHMALLOWS, AGAIN!) and grab some biscuits.. Cant wait for lunch time. Vivo Vivo~ xD Alone.. Again.. Sigh.. Owell.. =/ P.S: Guess I shall take some time to look at the Polaroid. I know its not good for the Earth. Budden an additional me using Polaroid.. Wun have much difference ba? (Okie~ I know Shell went "Tsk! Linn hor.. How can lidat think leh? If everyone lidat think jialat alr lar! Tsk!") HAHA! Okie.. I think twice, thrice, coz of you k? =P Sigh. My tagboard like damn dead leh. MD. =( I miss you calling me "da jie~~".. You know who you are. =P I miss you clinging to my arm and we walk around like lil couples. You know who you are, too. ;P I hate work at NCC. Am looking for a new job. Im growing side ways. Thats damn fugly horrifying. To think that I wanted a hug so badly, could be that tough.. Im still sourcing a place which is authorized and has cheap inner ear piercing. But when I've found that place, I hafta wait for a special date before piercing. Almost all my "after 18th yrs old pierce" have a meaning to it. =) P.S: Thanks Tamm for the info.. Looovvvveee~! Muackkk~!! =D Till then! I know I can survive that day because if everything goes well, BFF & 2 besties will party with me on that day to ease off the pain.. Maybe they might not know about it. Budden, Im still v. glad we'll be able to meet up on that day. =) Cant wait! linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Monday, March 22, 2010 @ 8:29 PM Dates taken Quick updates on dates taken: 24th - Ladies Night with BFF 26th - 91.3FM Night 27th - PL 28th - Sports day cum dinner with HSH guildies 29th - Facial appointment at A.S.S 30th - Dinner with YJ Jie and BFF 31st - Lesson no.1 from YJ Jie 1st - International buffet with BFF & gang 2nd - Lunch buffet (OMG!) with maternal side and then work. Then supper with Funkies. 3rd to 4th - Most prob going overseas. Alone. Or with whomever interested. Thats that. BYE~ linnLOVEyou♥ |
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@ 11:16 AM Bad nightmare Ignore this post. Im being a bitch. Stunned. Horror-struck. The hell? Why did I even dream of that? Why? Its really a tremendous bad nightmare. I never would want that to happen. Never! God, save me. Please. Bring me outta all these rubbish & nonsenstical stuffs. I think I have much more impt things to do than worry about such stuffs. My heart hurts like fcuk and head is thinking about all the different outcomes. How great. Thanks for the depression. Ha. It seems like I cared for you much more you can expect. Yet, you duno that. P.S: Its a girl. Bring me to 77th Street. Im piercing that "dangerous" pierce (if Im that unlucky). Today. Fcuk it. Who cares. Its my ear. Damn u. Just go away. [Editted: 77th street, Bits & Pieces, Metallurgy all dun have tt piercing. MD. Only Tatoo shops and those duno authorized anot ones. NS.] I want to leave. Now that Im of age, I will. Since its my money as well. Screw you. I dun give a damn. I need a breather and I want it. If any of you has comments. Keep it to yourself. This is my prob. Not yours. Not happy? Just get lost. I dun have an obligation to report to anyone about anything. So mind your own business. Moody. Just ignore me. Im losing myself. No one can save me. Ha.. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Sunday, March 21, 2010 @ 10:34 PM Sucked up life When life is beginning to go upslope, people tend to look at things on a brighter side. Yes? No. Not everyone. I am one of them. Such irony. To think that in the past, Im the one whom people always say Im the cheerful one, the one which the positive mindset, the optimist one. Now? Not anymore. That linn is no longer alive. Not anymore. Nothing to be sad about. Nothing to feel pity about. This is just life. Sometimes, I wonder if its coz of the people I hang out with and the circumstances Im in. Like, a good example would be being all cooped up in an office of "my own" and having no friends (in this case, colleagues). Its just miserable. Pathetic. The person whom I cared for, the most, for now, doesnt know that I do care about her feelings, thoughts and etc. Its just that I duno how to approach. Yet, it seems like we've drifted apart. Huhu.. =/ Sometimes, I get so affected I neglected others feelings. But I still think its worth it. Maybe coz I treat her as a sis? Maybe coz I have always wanted to try to understand her but duno how to approach? Things in my heart. I can only tell to very close ppl. Only to those whom are willing to know and concern enough to ask. Are you like that, too? If you are, I might hafta learn to approach. Because Im totally so not good with approaching. You mentioned before, quite some time back. That explaination only means "covering up for sth". That, I agree. But to a certain extend. Why do I say so? Thats because those whom believe me, will believe what I have said. And those that doesnt believe me, no matter how much I explain, they still dun believe me. BUT. If I dun even try to explain for sth which isnt true, or sth which was misunderstood, it means that I did not even try. Did not even try to salvage anything. But to you, it might mean otherwise. I duno.. I duno how to relate to you. My thoughts. My feelings. Towards you. Because you are someone dear. Things you've said, I rmb them. Even if its not abt me, or not towards me. But I will rmb. Just all because I wana be able to understand more about you. Can we ever be like sisters? Can we ever be like close friends? Can we ever be able to treat each other with trust and mutual understandings? Can we ever..? Maybe its my part that Im not making things go the way I want it to be. Or maybe Im just trying too hard. I duno. When I see you so happy with your friends. Somehow I wonder why can we never be like that. Issit age gap? Or issit just... so? Maybe Im just not lively and humourous enough? Sigh. I dread for tml to come despite it being a rather meaningful day. Sigh. Work sucks. I rather work in PL. Am gonna source for a new job. And Im still debating on whether to get an iPhone. Coz of the freaking price. Not interested or in the mood to celebrate my bday. I dun give a slight damn about it. Moodswing. 2nd day. Forgive me. I need a hug. Real badly. You, please dun pop up anytime soon. I cant take it. Please. Mummy & daddy, I will treat you all when Im feeling better and after I get my pay on the 9th. I promise. The one two of you, sorry to make you see the down & sian side of me while we're out today. DD, sincere apologies for making you worry again. I din mean it. But this is sth I hafta face. Its just part & parcel of my life. My sucked up life. Bro, have been neglecting u and heading home real late. My bad. Will mend it up to u soon. Promise k? Love you boy. I miss HSH alot. Esp Eddie, Lubbu and Dixon. While clearing my inbox, those msges and things you all send me. Nth can ever replace them. I kept all your msges. Despite how short. Thank God for you 3. Its amazing how you 3 cared so much for me. While marking the msges, I missed you 3 so much it aches. God, why do you make me still put him in part of my heart? All of his msges, I din delete them. Why so? This sucks. Can you get me outta this misery asap? PLEASE? Till then. Somehow I hope Im just thinking too much and things are not the way I think it is.. But am I living in denial? Im planning to wear back my mask. For everyone sees me knows exactly sth is wrong with me. I hate that. But they hate me in mask. How great. Aint this suckish? Bring me away. To somewhere where I can throw my worries & troubles away. Take me to somewhere. Anywhere. As long as I do not hafta face these torments. Even if its just JB. Even if its just KL. Even if its just Batam. I dun care. Just bring me away.. Am planning to go away on my bday. Maybe my parents wun allow. But I wun care. I will just go ahead. Probly ask Kl if she's keen. If she isnt, then Hana. Since she asked me before her wedding. If she isnt keen as well, then screw the idea. I will just head to the cinema for a marathon and then head to the beach. Time to splurge, again. Ha! linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Friday, March 19, 2010 @ 12:57 PM Fast-paced When I looked back and realised this week passed so quickly (for me).. I realised, its already coming Apr. What have I done so far? What have I achieved? What are the things I've set goals upon and if I have done them? New Year's over. CNY's over. Vday's over. Hana's wedding's over. Whats next? ... ... Whats next..? Somehow, this year started off fast-paced. Thats probly why I find it shocking for Apr to lure so nearby. Its alr coming 1/3 of the year! JEEZ! Being fast-paced has its pros and cons. The good is that you tend to not think about useless and meaningless stuffs, for you have much more impt things to do. The bad is that you get so much things on you dont have time for proper rest and chillax session. Sucks, eh? Anw, a few groups I would wana meet up. Kl, Gee & HSH group. These 3. Quite a while since I last saw them. So, would like to meet up lo. =) Guess I will hafta plan else there wun be a meetup, soon. So, yeah. Probly last week of March or 2nd week of April. Budden still, everything based on majority if they are free not lor.. There's one thing I cant wait. And that is for my hair to grow faster. =X Not that I dun like the length now. Budden its too stiff. Not layered enough. Thus I look abit dead. In a sense. So want it to grow longer then I can layer it to the length it is now. Woohoo! Till then.. BYE~! The things you say.. Doesnt really filters through your brain, eh? So not sensitive.. Tsk! Choose 28th. Or 4th. 2nd & 3rd I wun be available. Sad to say, first come first serve basis. If both days are taken, ALL evenings (except 26th, 29th, 31st) after 6pm is available. IMPT NOTE~!! : Its only FYI. I dun exceptionally wish/hope for anything. Cheeros~ linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Thursday, March 18, 2010 @ 2:08 PM Lost touch Seems theres alot of things/people I've lost touch with. As in, even if we see each other rather frequent or occasionally, nothing much can be spoken. It just makes me think if I am the problem. Probly I am? Ha. Maybe Im feeling like dung coz you msged me outta the sudden, again.. Everytime the same. Sucks sia. Just 8 more days. I just hope you dun pop up within these 8 days. At least lemmi survive it peacely first. Thanks. Anw.. Happy Birthday to Uncle Steven, Ryan and Sky.. & Welcome back Shell! =) At times I wonder if what Im worrying is worth it. Coz it seems like I myself worry of tings which is only on my part. Its as if, all I can do is worry. All I know how to do is worry. There is nothing else I know except worry. Ha.. Hate wearing skirt. Stupid conference. Why must secretary be in skirt sia. The hell. Anw, I've changed back to my pants. Feel so restricted in skirt. =,=" Weather is bad. Rain. In my office, its like 18-20deg lidat lor the aircon. Cold lor. Especially when Im alone in the office. Hais. I like loneliness is getting the better of me. Im already turning zi(4) bi(4).. Duno how to write in english. Anw, its like isolation lidat lar. Yah. Anw, dunnid to feel anything. Coz, its normal. Everyday go office alone. Eat alone. Listen music & go FB for leisure. Breaktime when Im really pathetic I will head to Funan for a short "getaway" even if its just 1hr. Go home alone. Even if I go off also no one knows. Blah.. So its just normal. Everyone will turn zi(4) bi(4) if you have gone thru it for like coming 3mths? How great. Suddenly I feel like a survivor. Ha. Work is piling. I dun feel like clearing. Ha. Am feeling =/ leh. HAIS. Still, hafta reluctantly get down to work wad. Zzz. Lame shit. Bye. To think the first person whom asked if I had plans for my birthday is you.. Good Lord! That seriously sucks TTM!! linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010 @ 10:29 AM Step by step Am seriously taking each step at a time. Do not want to rush into things or rather, Im just lazy & tired to think about what might or might not happen. For now, lemmi laze around and be comfy. Thats all I ask for. Met up with several ex-colleagues and classmates during Hana's wedding. Some mentioned that I look tired. And minority say I look gloomy coz of my eyebags. Great. =/ Thurs - Sun was darn busy. I hardly took any pic coz I was so busy. Anw, there are camera woman around so there's nth to be afraid of. Seriously I dun think I look good in baju. Coz.. .. I duno? It just doesnt fit my char. Ha.. Tired la. Even now at work Im feeling so letargy. Blah! Sucks. Today not going out after work. So will head home straight to rest. Probly do mask before I turn in. If not my face will wrinkle. And Im only 21! Oh boy.. Speaking of "21".. Since the "day" is near.. I shall put up some updates. On the 28th I wun be free. Taken. On the 2nd, I will be having lunch with mum's side. And then if possible, work 3-10pm at PL coz its a PH and I wana earn some extra $. On the 3rd, I doubt I will be going for XX's thingy. Will probly head to PL or sth since no one said anything yet. Might work from 11am-closing since after closing Poo wana go out. Dunwan to tire myself out. On the 4th I will be free. Or rather, I set it aside for whomever whom wants to ask me out. If not, I will just nua at home. For now, thats about it. =) I saw polaroids at Vivo. Yums. Budden look pricey. My budget was $80-within $100. Budden those are $100<.. So, forget it lor. Anw, bro is being a candy. He says he will chip in as much as he can for my iPhone. Which, if I change plan on 14th Apr and yada yada, still hafta pay approx $400. SUCKS. So, currently the only thing I hope for is ppl to chip in lor. Since, seriously speaking, I dun think I lack of anything, for now. And, iPhone is a major want. (DUH! Of coz I prefer iTouch budden since my phone is dying so might as well...) Budden ya. Just.. Yeah. Still the usual, I hope for nothing. Nothing.. at all. Monday was good. Despite just a couple of hours at Sentosa with Funkies, it was great. Din get a dip in the water. Im fine with it. Coz its kinda late and I dun especially feel like carrying a heavy-loaded bag back home when Im tired. Pics couldnt be posted up in FB due to some reasons so I will save the pics in thumb and then bring it to PL so they can all extract it from there. Had a long day yst. >< Felt kinda shaggged from late evening onwards coz I went an extra mile.. Budden, well, its kinda (hmm~) memorable lor. Nothing much to elaborate. Anw, thats just how I felt. My "plan" & "goal" was met. So, good for me. Wuahaha. Felt happy lar. Its like, a satisfaction lidat lor. Coz I din expect things to go so smoothly mah.. Still, there's always a time where we will speak solemnly. Its like a political issue or sth lidat. Budden yeah.. As long as opinions are voiced out and thoughts are exchanged. Im good. Coz I know each individual will head back home and ponder about it. So, yeah.. Everytime I think of those things & issue my loved ones* mention about.. .. I will always shrink back into my (in this case, since Im not a tortise like my bro.. in my case, I shrink back into my..) fats. =x Yeah. So, hmm.. Well, I do think & ponder about those things you all have said. Serious. Almost everyday I think about it. Well, he did. As well. Just, it will be darn tough on his side. As in, to upgrade himself, so he says. I duno wad to reply to that. Coz all he ask for was for me to be beside him while he goes through that tough time. Really. I duno wad to reply to that. loved ones* = Vesire/bro/cous/Kl/Hana So, being the usual me. I just kept quiet. And being usual him, he got the hint and let that question pass. No matter issit work or friends or love or family or leisure. Everything now.. I take it step by step. Yeah yeah. I know.. That is so not me. Budden for now, Im really tired. Everyday work is challenging and then there are still things to worry about. Just sucks. So, especially today; Im gonna hit the sack early. Say, 9pm-10pm? Yeah. Wanted to stay up till 12mn to wish him Happy Birthday budden... tough leh. Piang.. =/ Aiyah. See how la. Who knows sth cropped up and I've gotta forsake my sleep.. again? =,= Am gonna head back to work. Its 11am. Workload is piling up. Feeling the pressure alr. Thank God its Wednesday ALREADY. I cant imagine if today is Monday. I might just drop dead by Tues. Urgh. Im flaking. The hell? Why am I flaking? I din even bath in the sun. Dun tell me that was Langkawi's ultra-post-sovenoir for me. Dang. I feel snake-ish.. EEwwww.. Right~ Whatever man. Whats the big deal of flaking? Its just flaking wad. Grow up. Till then. Im so tired I dun wish to celebrate my bday.. Coz no one really cares.. If there's no meet ups, I wun ask for it. If there's no wadsoever, I wun give a dang. I wun expect anything from anyone anymore. I dun even look forward to surprises anymore. Because all I get is a sarcastic croak from myself.. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Friday, March 12, 2010 @ 10:46 AM Picking up Good news for readers out there. Linn's life is picking up. Hoho. Not sure how long will it last budden to be optimistic, I shall enjoy what I can, for now. =) The thing is, to look beyond the problem and ponder about what should be done and what shouldnt, helps alot. Despite the fact that situations and outcomes are determined by various factors and not only my own thinking, still, at least with a positive mind & a "plan", the percentage of things turning out for the better, is higher. Perhaps going out with friends and hanging out does helps me to sooth my mind & soul. Alot. Probly this is one of the best remedy I now realised. Hoho. Current issues: - Probly not getting iPhone coz of.. .. issue *ENORMOUS SIGH* - How to ask if they wana help him celebrate his bday? No one said anything yet. - Hana's wedding on 14th, Im very nervous. A rather huge role to play >< - MD. My Starhub is outta cash again. - Should I celebrate my bday? On 3rd, there's my co.'s D&D which Im not going. However, I signed up for a meet up with XX. The event is till 5pm. Teeheehee.. =X - I noe that outta so many friends, only that group and that group will plan to help me celebrate. As usual, that group always nv auto one. Coz Im always the one planning, eh? Ha! Seriously, I dun expect much man.. Life still goes on.. Like it is, now.. Gonna meet Vesire & Joel later for dinner. Shell's treat. Budden I kinda dun feel that necessary. I duno how much this treat might means to her. Budden if she really insist, then I will let her hit the tab. Coz, personally, I really feel a no need to. Because those things & actions & stuffs we did, were outta love, my dear. There is no need for you to "return" them.. You know we care & love you. Thats all it matters. Went IT fair yst for 2hrs approx. Bro got his GOLD headphone (Ahem! Cous!). I got a 8GB thumb for Poo. I wanted to give it to her but she insist she wana pay me. Zzz. Its only $28 please. =,=" I mean, its not like I always buy things for her what. Woot. Summore she nowadays like so down and I no time to work (thus no time to pop by, yada yada..) Blah! Then she knows I like old notes, then she tempt me by showing one old $10 note to me. RAWRR!! Evil Poo!! Nvm. Next time when she isnt working I pop by and put whatever thing I bought for her there. Then when she comes, she will just hafta take it. BLAH~! (Hopefully she does takes it. Scarly she stubborn dun take then I thats it!) Kei & I kinda set our eyes on this gorgeous & powerful headphone. Its $248 (I think) before discount and $198.20 after discount. Its really good I tell you.. Budden the price.. .. .. P.S: White is nice. Despite black being my all-time used-to-it-and-sleek-and-yada-yada, this time, I prefer white. Coz its constrast to my hair ma. =X P.P.S: That made me rmb.. Am gonna touch up on my roots with Liese Hair Bubble again! Shall do it tml morning. WHHEEEHA! After passing the things to Poo, I was about to go off when I rmb he will be going off that day. So I went to say hi when he was having his break. Just for a few minutes, and I was on the run to Hana's place. Was late coz got her food and drinks (she couldnt leave house on that day coz of some religious thing) and the bus took so freaking long!!! I waited about 20-30mins before it came. !@#$%!! When I reached, Emi was there alr. Long time no see, babe! Miss you. Then Edah and sis came along. We ordered KFC to snack a lil before getting to work. From a room filled with so many things we hafta sit like a prawn, to a room that can sit and stretch our legs. WOOHOO!!! xD It was fun, even though its kinda tough work. HAHA! ;) Had breakfast set this morning. It taste ok. But not as nice as Yakun. Or rather, not as nice as it was, with you. =X Opps. Haha. Nahh~ I must be mad to even say that. =,=" No lar. Just, the catching up was good. So, yah lor. I like coffee talks, you see. Thats also one of the reason why I thought of Sebas when I was having my breakfast. Coz long time never see him mah.. And he last time was my Kopi Kaki (coffee buddy) so.. Yah lor.. Hurr. Time is 11:20am.. A while more is lunch break. Budden Im not really planning to have anything. Perhaps papaya soyblend from Jollibean or fruits from Kopitium. Coz I had late & heavy breakfast. Hoho. Have yet to prepare anything for Hana's wedding. Her card, her $, baju, shoes, paint nails, what kinda make up to do, hair style, contacts, mask, handbag, bangles, brooch, black/white spag for the baju, dot dot dot.. So nervous sia. Perhaps coz its my first time being a bridesmaid and summore is for Malay wedding. Pianggg~~~ Im having jelly legs man. To think I still hafta be strong coz the bride will be hyperventilating. >< RAWRR!! JIAYOU ARRH, LINN! Btw, I forgot to mention that there is no polaroid at the IT fair. Disappointed. Hurr. I even brought batteries (if thats how they operate) in case I wana try it out immediately or sth. Budden, yeah. Despite knowing the fact that perhaps there isnt anymore polaroids around, I still feel disappointed. Hurr~ Saw a few orange watches from Baby-G and Casio. Bro & Kei gave different comments. >< Budden both mentioned that round surface watch might be better for me. Coz all of my watches are either rectangular or squarish. So, time for a change, eh? ;) So, yeah. See how lor.. Probly getting one for myself or sth once I see the right one? =) Not trying to hope. Coz it always brings forth disappointment. I always always always tell myself that. Budden it always hits me still. Stupid right. =,=" Anw, was just saying that I do not want to hope that friends out there will rmb my bday or celebrate it. I mean, please lar, even doh Im someone whom really take dates seriously and whatnot, budden to others its different. Whats more? Different ppl have different commitments. So cant expect everything to go your way, huh? So far, I wonder how many ppl knows I like surprises? LOL. Whatever. Seriously. Even that baka duno, I guess. Well, that silly knows, budden always gives in whenever I press on. BOO!! Lousy. =P This week seems draggy. Coz alot of things to do. Everyday I sleep less than 5hrs. My eyebags are rather prominent. Ppl start asking me what happen to me. Ha.. Budden yeah. Lidat lor. Not enough sleep nia. Then as usual - the only symptom - headache which feels like UTI.. Freaking painful. And whenever I sleep, its gone. Expected. P.S: These few days haven been sleeping well. Restless and uneasy. Its like I always have this fear thingy. Or like, flashes of nightmare which I cant remember what is the content. Yet, when I wake up, I can feel the fear I had in the nightmare. Its that bad. Some weird things have been happening here & there. But I choose to ignore. Sigh. Sometimes, it really creeps me out. Dang! ... ... ... Got an idea about what to .. .. Budden have yet to get into action. Everytime I reach home I will bath and then K.O.. Totally slipped my mind. 3days straight alr lor. TMD. Whats wrong with me man.. =,=" So, yeah. Am gonna set Task Alarm and remind myself later at night. Else, no surprise, sure forget. Zzz. Plan to sleep in till noon tml. Then head down to Hana's place. Will be shaggggggggggeddd budden BLAH! What to do sia.. Nothing wad =,=" So, yeah. Will stop here. There's work to be done. Till then~! [EDITTED] - Doubt my plan for Monday will work. Since alr 2 cant make it. Sad. Budden.. Owell.. Cant do much, huh.. Feel so pathetic. Ha.. Will try to do sth else then, or just do it myself lar. Im not gonna rely or put hopes on anyone. Yada! If there is a will, there is a way. The things ppl does/doesnt do, makes me see how much Im worth to them.. (This may sound pathetic. But its the fact. So dun deny it. Face it & live with it.) 2 seperate events. 2 seperate days. Despite there were others around, you came close. Just a lil. But the feeling was, different. I duno how to explain that feeling. But it doesnt seem normal. Not in a way of weird or bonkers. Its more like, in a special way.. That made me shrink away involunteringly, as usual. I.. Hope Im just thinking too much. =/ P.S: Those ladies whom think this person is the person you are thinking he is.. Nope! You are wrong. Definitely. P.P.S: Ask me if you are curious about it.. Buahahaha.. (Also good, then I can see what opinions you all have regarding his actions/words..) Whenever you ask that question, I stayed silent, not knowing how to reply you.. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Thursday, March 11, 2010 @ 9:19 AM Amused Still find it amusing. To have the same thing going on. Just that its individual friends and the location is different. But all 4 days are the same. The things we do are also the same. One bridesmaid one bridesman. Woot. Got so coincidence not..? o.o" Stunn. Anw, this is roughly what the convo was like: Me: Eh, just fyi. Thurs-Sun I not free coz preparing for my friend's wedding.. Him: Wah. Me too. Me: =,=" Him: Really!! Me: Huh? Him: Yah la. My brother's (buddy buddy that kind) wedding. Me: o.o" Ooh.. Him: Yah. I Thurs going back. Me: WOOT. Him: Yah. Then I next week then come back. Me: Oh, ok arh.. Him: When is the wedding? Me: Sunday loh Him: Wah. Got so coincidence anot ar! Me: *nods absent-mindedly* (alot of things in my mind) Then what will you be doing? Him: His brother lo. Like those pick up bride, do forfeit, bla bla bla lor. Me: HAHA! Him: What? Me: Coz Im the one whom will be doing the sabotage. Him: =,=" Me: Haha.. Him: *deep in thoughts* Me: *shakes head* Really too coincidence le.. Him: Yah.. At first I SERIOUSLY thought he was kidding. But he wasnt lor. MD. So coincidence? What the.. .. Still feel amused till now. Its like.. Ermm.... WOOT! lor. I dun even know how to explain this kinda weird thing. I mean, its like, both our friends weddings are on the 14th. Then, today I hafta start going over Hana's house to help her calm down and prepare this and that and finalise things. He, on the other hand, would hafta head back today. Will help out till near midnight. Then its the same till Sunday as well. WOOT. Really is WOOT. Unbelieveable. Anw, no idea what to get him for his bday sia. =,=" Everthing I wanted to get, all he has liaos, if not is new one. TMD. Why so tough sia. Then I aso duno him well. Diaoooo. Also duno wad he like la. Zzz. Was thinking probly do some DIY thingy. Budden like a lil tough coz I myself alr not enough time liaos.. Boo! =/ Any ideas please feel free to sound out. =) Date line for ideas is 14th March 2010. I need some time to prepare and get the pressie. Haven even do the card sia.. RAWRR. So many things to do. CARD! OMG! I totally forgot. Still have Hana's congratualations card!! I HAVEN DO!! RAWRR! Ok ok.. Better write it down else I forget again. BLAH! Am gonna pop by IT fair when I can afford to. Probly today before heading down to Hana's place. And also Sat 12pm-2pm, before I head down to Hana's place again. Fri and Sun is burnt liaos. So, bo bian. A few things to look out: - iTouch - iPhone (Singtel roadshow) - Audio Tech ear/headphone - 8GB thumbdrive (for Poo) - Polaroid + films - Any cheap gadgets (for Cous) - <12" Lappie (I brought mine out yst - after several months of not seeing "the world" - and it almost caught fire. It was so hot I couldnt put my hand there for more than 5secs. =,=") - Gadgets like anti-fingerprint/casing for iPhone (coz my eyes is set on iPhone liaos; thanks to Ong ;)) Got my yst and its alr half gone. Pay debts and bills and its alr half gone. Dammit. I hafta work harder and get a better job man. BLAH! Life is torturing when there isnt sufficent money to survive. Till then! I duno if I should accept coz somehow the future doesnt seem all too good. =( Lest you get a better job. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010 @ 2:24 PM The meaning of love, to little children Thank Selin for sending me this email. It touches me. P.S: Those in () are in the email itself. Those in [] are things I added in myself. -START- If only we could be like little children at times.... What Love means to a 4-8 year-old . . .. Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is worth it. Touching words from the mouths of babies. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds , 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think: 'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca - age 8 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4 [age 4.. .. jeez] 'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6 'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4 [agree] 'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7 'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.' Emily - age 8 [the last sentence is funny] 'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!) [amazing] 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6 (We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet!) [hohoho~] 'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.' Noelle - age 7 [really?] 'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8 [the love of parents] 'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6 'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine - age 5 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7 'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4 'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4 [duno if its a happy or sad thing] 'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' Karen - age 7 (What an image!) 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8 And the final one: The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.' -END- I feel so touched & ashamed when I read this email lor.. To think they are so young and have such thinking already. Unlike the youngsters nowadays.. All they wish for is to be loved and tell the world they have a bf/gf. A thought to think: Love.. What does love means to you..? linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Tuesday, March 09, 2010 @ 11:19 AM Unhappiness Why is everyone around me so unhappy? Yet its as though everything they are worried or troubled about, I can be of no damn use. Why? Coz no one trust me? Coz Im not good at consoling? Coz Im BUSY? Coz Im involved in that thing? Coz of what? What?! It sucks. Really. After knowing/reading.. Somehow nothing seem significant anymore. The feeling of one wanting to care yet unable to, feels like crap. Unless you feel it yourself, you wun be able to understand how that feels. Its worst than just sour or bitter feeling. Its tormenting. Its like acid. Slowly biting into your flesh. Yet there is nothing you can do to stop that pain. That agony. With me myself being troubled in life, all I wish was the ppl around me to be happy. Yet I dun see that happening. Probly one or two. Budden, whats the point? Because that one or two are lucky ppl. They are, almost, always happy. No big deal. So aint it a failure, Linn? With you trying your best to care and wad not. Yet there is nothing you can do, there is nothing you did, Linn. You are just a crap. A useless dunghead. Some times, I really wish I can run away. Run away from that place filled with unhappiness, hurt, awkwardness and distrust. By "seeing" what they think it is, they jump into conclusions which arent true. By listening to so-and-so say about certain things, they can conclude immediately what happen. Not even giving the other party to explain or wadso. The conclusion was set. Why is this so? Why must ppl be so imprudent? Why must ppl be so sure about something when they only listen to one side of the story and then spiral into sorrow? Things which could be solved easily was made difficult (or near impossible) when there is such mindset. Speaking about mindset. It really irks me when ppl have mindset like some naive child. Or like, watch too much drama and made them "turn into" the character in the drama or sth along tt line. It really makes me acknowledge sadly in disbelief. To think that at this *adult age, ppl can be affected by this kinda stuffs. There is NO such thing as fantasy and prince charming. So face it, YOU this naive person. Face it. Stop hurting yourself by thinking he will come back to you just coz you are waiting. STOP! HURTING! YOURSELF! *adult: 21< The world is not perfect. The sad thing is, apart from being imprefect, it sucks. So badly. The world we live in - full of disappointments, sorrows, pitiness, backstabbing, complaining, pushing blames, evil thoughts, evil doings, being bullied, looked down, inferior & low self-esteem, and the list just goes on. After you've been through different companies and work environment, the more you see. Dun act so yaya papaya when you are only starting out. Ppl are gonna laugh at you real hard when you fall. And thats when you finally realised your mistake (even though we've always tell you but you turned a deaf ear). Think forward, of the obstacles that may pop up and how you are gonna overcome it. Put yourself in other ppl's shoes, and then look into ur own. And you can see actually you are so much more luckier & fortunate than others. Dun compare how pathetic you are with the those happy ppl out there. Because not only will you crash harder, your motivation will be shattered as well. Maybe whomever out there reading this might think: Linn, you are different. You have many friends, a family whom yada yada, someone whom dotes you, you are more optimistic than others, blah blah blah.. And..? So..? The main point here is that: If you yourself are not gonna help yourself.. Who will? Instead of drowning in self-pitiness, why not climb out from that bitterness and become someone better? Who never has struggles before? Who never been through suffocating moments? The person/friend you ppl are seeing now.. Do you think that person has never been in your shoes before? How do you know you are much worst off than that person? Just because he/she never say, just because he/she never show it, doesnt mean he/she haven been through it. I cant say I know how everyone feels at certain point of time and wad not. But at least I can understand. Even though I cant be of any help consoling coz everytime I know about certain stuffs, my emotions will take over and I myself will also go into depression/sorrow. But I choose to overcome it and think ahead. Look ahead. If things has passed, then let it be. Some things might be much tougher. Like how Im overcoming (still) after coming 3yrs. At least Im trying. Even if Im moving snaily steps, at least Im moving forward. Thats all it matters. Whenever Im feeling down or troubled, I will blast musics in my ears. Knowing that by listening to sentimental songs will pull me down further, I made a techno/R&B folder for my convenience. When I can afford to, I will spend $ to buy things I might not need. Yet, the feeling is shiok. When I know things cant be solved/saved anymore, I give myself a certain period of time to overcome it. And try to stick to that agreement with myself. Who never been down? Who never been disappointed before? Over and over again? Its all up to individual. How one looks at things and their perspective in life. Its all up to you.. Its your life. You decide how good or bad it will turn out. I have 2 "friends" whom hate me for "acting" as though I know everything about how ppl feel and they always say I dun understand yet I act as if I do. Right. I did mention that I can understand how that would hurt (in whatsoever situation), budden if I have never been through it, I will not understand truely how that would feel. But to them, they find me being a hypocrite. And I wonder how many of you reading this thinks so too. Ha.. Somehow those whom I care in _ _ seem down nowadays. =( Is there anything I can do? Please teach me. Sigh. I need a breather. Till then. Those of you whom asked me that question over & over again & gives me that o.O face.. No. Im not attached. And not planning to be in one, so soon. So please, stop asking. Im not proud to be in one. To be taken & then thrown away overnight, is not something Im prepared or can overcome easily. So, forgive me. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Monday, March 08, 2010 @ 10:23 AM =/ There never seem to be a day of stress-less carefree day for me. Sucks. Everytime I've settled something, another thing will pop up. May it be my prob or not. Somehow or rather, its kinda related to me.. Thus, it affects me. Yesterday was a busy day. Early morning met Hana to shop for my baju for her wedding. The only attire I like is the 2nd piece. Coz the first one like so aunty-ish.. Yet bo bian coz we find 3places also cant find. So hafta settle for that. =/ The 2nd piece was a good buy. I like it. Hehe. =P After that, met BFF to head to Product Fair near Queenstown/Clarke Quay area. Left about 5pm. Bus down to Funan for dinner coz BFF mentioned about.. .. .. Din stay for long. About an hour and we're rushing off to Pasir Ris for Kbox. Was a sudden decision coz supposed to be today. Anw, the rates are cheap (due to promotion) so, ok lor.. In the end we sang from 7.30pm - 2am.. I almost died. Just wondering if anyone has the same opinion/thinking as me. If I ta bao (take away) something for someone.. Must it be like, a special feeling or wad so? TMD. They are so damn childish to think so lor. Wads wrong with them man? Work in FJ till cant grow up ar? Ma de. I mean, its like, doing a favour. Thats all. So what if its different stall de ppl? MD. Grow up. Had a crappy time with BFF talking and gossiping and wad not during dinner. Was good. At least it took my temper into the "cooling down" phase. Else I will just give my black face. So lame lor. Anw, din getta talk alot to Funky Friends coz of time constrain. Sucks lo. Wanted to tell them about the trip in Dec, I wanted to ask them go Bangkok de. =X Budden din getta mention coz Grey was back from her break. Also due to time constrain and I haven check with Nis (my friend whom is working in a travel agency) about the discounted rates for Bangkok. So, yeah. Next time then. After I've asked Nis. Oh ya. Something which I wana blog about. I received an interesting necklace from Ong yesterday. Its so sweet of him. I took a pic of it and he took a pic of me wearing it. Cant blog the pic up from my co.'s com coz of pop up thingy.. Budden yeah. Hehe! I like. =P Thanks Ong! ^^ Apart from that, coz I was freezing in the room, Ong offer me his jacket also!! Whee.. Super suit my jeans coz its also jeans material. Very nice leh the texture. (=,=" Forgot to ask him where he get it de).. It accompanied me from 8pm-ish till 2am.. Teeheehee!! =D Ong, you are the best! Whee! Kbox was fun. It IS fun! Esp when the company is right. Yesterday we sang from newest songs to fav songs to try out songs to old songs to jap/korean songs (which we dun even know how to read the words) to 擐朱格格 songs. HILARIOUS I tell you!! BFF chose the song and she nudged me to sing along. No idea why, my hand searched for the mic and placed it in front of my mouth.. And my mouth auto open and sing. After I sang it, I cant believe I actally sang it. HA!HA! Totally o.o" sia.. At first only got Ong, BFF & me. Kei joined us at about 10.30pm after his work. And then we sang and yada yada till 2am lor. =D It was fun lar. There were like very high songs and those sentimental ones.. Not forgetting those hot-&-delicious MVs.. =X LOL. Yeah. Was great!! Even doh I was like wittering from 1am onwards.. Budden still, its nice. I like.. I like the company.. I like singing.. I like.. I like.. =) Reached home and I took a 2mins chop-chop shower and I K.O-ed. Din even bother to charge my phone. Was dragging myself to and fro from the bathroom. Dino Ong messaged me to ask if Im home safely (He really so sweet lo. ><) Woke up this morning and saw the message so I replied him only then. Totally din wana wake up for work lor. Din have enough sleep sia. =( Boo~ Nevermind. I shall head home early today, bath, masked, see if there's anything to do online. If not, I shall hit the sack by 10pm. WOOHOO!! =D Still dun like the way you do things. Have mentioned tons of time not to say this and that. Esp those cheesy ones. I mean, its like.. Will bring forth misunderstandingS lor. Even though we know its just "play play" or yada yada.. Budden still.. Im afraid it will hurt (?) if she happens to know about it. I told you, I can dote you and be close with you as a buddy. Budden not that. I told you about how I will treat you. How I can be there for you as a friend. But the rest do not know. So, I just hope you can somehow or rather not be too "into it" at your end. Because even though Im kinda "used to it" doesnt mean others are ok with it. Sometimes, we have to think about others. Their feelings. What they might or might not think. You always say I think too much. Budden these are factors which we cannot oversee. You know what I mean. And I mean it. (How great.. See lar. Now really got daiji liao. Play play play.. =,=") You better settle it properly. Told you umpteen times dont send those weird thingy to me liao but you still.. .. Now this kinda thing happen.. Win liao. I BWK.. You ownself see to it. =,=" P.S: I dunwan this to affect my f/s with her. I duno how to explain.. But to me, you are impt to her. You are someone whom she can rely on. You are someone whom she will first think of whenever she needs someone. So what if you can only treat her as a friend? At least be there for her when she needs you. Thats what you promised her. That even though its just friend status, you will be there for her and dote on her. Thats what you promised. So dun break it. Dun even think about it. Else I will really be disappointed. Coz you know and you know how much I wana try relate to her & ask her what happen, yada, but I just cant bring myself to. Coz I might just go forward and hug her when she's telling me her story (if she does). Dun ask me why I feel for her. I myself also duno why. Probly coz everytime I see her, all I can feel is she isnt as happy as she seems. (I mean, of coz lar, almost everyone does that what) But, because she is my friend, yet she looks really troubled & down deep within. Yet, I cant be of any help.. That sucks, alright? SUCKS BIG TIME. That was why when you mentioned to me your promise to her, I was glad. Because at least you are able to help her. And I was truely glad. But if because of certain personal reasons and you break this promise to her (for your own benefit that is), I will really be disappointed. So please. Dun break your promise. Please.. You saw the angry side of me for the second time. The last was (unfortunately) with regards to you. Its not like you dont know what I like and dont like. I just hope that before I reach my next threshold, you do what you should and shouldnt. Dont give me excuses that makes my blood boil. There is always a limit to everything. Dont push it. With that, I thank you. Finally getting my (pathetic) paycheck later. Rawrr. I only have $10 in my wallet and $10 in my bank. Yahoo~!! =,=" Im planning to get Polaroid myself during the IT fair (if its not very ex). Coz Im hoping I can use it during Hana's wedding as a sovenior for her. And.. I'd rather ppl chip in for my iPhone which I can only get during 14th April (boo!) or like a sporty (orange or white preferred) watch or chio iPhone casing or the iPhone antifingerprint thingy (means I HAVE TO GET iPhone lar! Wuakakakka! xD) or ???.. I dun think I have anything else I need. Wants, it will be that $31 make up pouch from Muji or a powerful ear/headphone (minimum. maxinputpower 800mW) from AudioTech (during IT fair will be cheaper so I might see see, esp since my current ear/headphone is too noob to ease my worries when I on them to the loudest). But yet again, its just a want. So, blah! =/ Sometimes, I need to spend so to feel happier. And that sucks. Why girls hafta be lidat? LOL! This is weird. Budden I cant deny it really helps. BOO! See you! linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Friday, March 05, 2010 @ 2:32 PM Caesar salad ♥ Finally ate the long craving for: Caesar Salad. ♥! Yumms.. Its nice.. I like.. Woohoo.. Ever since that time went out with Joce then I wanted to try a karage salad instead of my normal caesar, I regreted. Haha! Its not that that karage salad isnt good budden its just not my tea. Went to VivoCity's Coffeebean to get it. Next time I will try O'Briens caesar. Budden abit pricey. $9.90.. *faints* Well, when Im feeling rich then I try lor. Wuahaha. Having satisfied my craving.. Awww.. I feel so joyful. Woohoo! =D Its coming 3pm. Gotta do up some other petty cash thingy and then some cheque req and Prof's schedule for next week as well. Blah~ Hafta finish all these in about 2hrs time.. Coz later gotta work at PL. So probly hafta leave earlier instead of 5.30pm sharp. Else I will be late. Went to finance side just now. So sad. My cheque is only due on the 8th, Monday. Stupid sia. That time they still say if 7th falls on a weekend, then can collect the cheque on the latest working day. TMD. Lidat how am I going to shop for Baju Kurong as well as pay YanJun Jie the $ sia.. WOOT. RAWR! Whatever. I will just hafta transfer when the time comes. *BIG sigh* Thats bad. Hais. =/ Ok. Gonna get down to work. Bye~ Now my stomach is satisfied.. I feel like sleeping =x linnLOVEyou♥ |
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@ 9:05 AM Booster: Milk Tea If I were to ask, what is my fav. drink? I wonder how many will say green tea and how many will say milk tea. (If you din even choose either, omg, Im so disappointed) Anw, just sth I thought I would type out so when Im bored or whatso, when I re-read my post, I will laugh at myself or (who knows?) it might bring back happy memories. Milk Tea. The wonder booster drink. To me, its like a booster. Whenever Im down, I drink milk tea. Whenever Im troubled, I drink milk tea. I drink milk tea when Im down so to boost up my spirits coz milk tea really makes me happy. (Right~) Dun ask me why. Budden it just does. Especially when its pudding milk tea from CupWalker or jelly milk tea from EachACup or SweetTalk. Whenever Im happy or in a good mood, or simply just having a carefree day, I will drink milk tea. Of coz, not always I drink milk tea. Coz its as doh no matter what mood Im in, there can be a reason for me to drink milk tea. *Toinn* =,=" Not lidat say lar.. Most of the time I only drink milk tea when the mood is extreme or beyond the avg range. So its either the positive extend or the negative extend. No idea why in Heaven am I blogging about milk tea man.. =,=" Budden yea. Probly coz I suddenly think of Xin Wang's HK Milk Tea? *drools* =X In an hours time I'll hafta prepare the seminar thingy for ScienceWerke.. Hais. They kinda (yst) suddenly ask for a seminar slot today lor.. So sudden. Woot. So, yeah lor. Since the host is under my department. Bo bian. Gotta serve. Huhu~ >< Super full. Just had mum's handmade tuna bread with a cup of green tea protein drink. FULL. >< Have yet to finish up the drink. Bloated la.. =/ Probly later. Gonna add cold water to it. Yumms~ P.S: It taste like green tea froth or green tea latte depending whether you put HL milk/soya milk/water. =) Till then. I might blog again later if I have the time. Have been restless these few days. =/ BYE! Really feel like going clubbing sia. TMD. Have been having different 烦恼 budden coz everyday is so tiring & event-filled, I din have time to think and solve those this this that that in my head. Thus, the stress & tiredness sinks in deeper and left me suffocating. Blah~ Cant wait for a time whereby the 4 of us will be free for supper & hangout again. =( linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Thursday, March 04, 2010 @ 11:06 AM Polaroid? =/ Posted a question on Kei's wall asking about polaroid. He then called me up to tell me that they might have stop producion of polaroid cam. OMG! SAD! =( From what I know, they say its coz its harmful for the Ozone Layer thingy. The film, that is. Hmm.. And then Kei was saying that its kinda high maintenance coz gotta get not only the film (which comes in 8 or 10 and is rather ex, like $1 minimum per piece) as well as the ink. When he mentioned "ink".. I was like.. "INK?!" And then it hit me. Yeah hor. If not how to print. =,=" Sigh~ So, now also not sure if I should get lor. Was thinking if IT fair got cheap ink catridge and flims, then I will just get as much as I can lor. Kiasu sai. Wana stock up. =/ Hais. Duno leh. Just find it cool la. Esp those last time thingy or sth. Can always use that instant print for some deco purposes or even a gift. Well, thats what I thought. Budden it seems like a blah~ right now.. Am too late.. Yes? =/ Went for lunch with Tammie & Selin. At the same time pass to them Hana's wedding invitation. Budden they both like cant make it.. >< Still, also cant do much what, its not like they dunwan to go.. Is cant make it wad. So, yah lor. Anw, had the worth-it-pasta meal from TBM again. Woohoo! This time I cleared my plate sia. And I was about to explode when I realised I still have my lemon sugar cane drink.. Woot. Always made me smile whenever I remember the "contents" we always talk about when tgt. Wuahahahha! Today's main word which kinda made an impression was the word "grope" LOL! Swee arhh. =X Chat chat a lil here and there lor.. Duno leh, like got a lil distant liaos (duh! so long nv meet up wad) so like abitttttttt weird. Budden its fine lar. Will just hafta find time to all meet up again. Buahaha! =D Different ppl really have different opinions. Its either a yes or a no. Not like me.. Hanging there, not here not there. =,=" I duno what to do.. So I choose to just listen and *nod nod* lidat lor. Hurr~ Its a busy day at work. I just did a proper to-do-list and its 10 IMPORTANT things to do. Those misc haven include lor. !@#$% tiring shit. Luckily tml Friday sia.. If not sure GG one lor. Haven got my jab yet. If I leave work to jab, sure cant be there on time coz they close at 6pm (zzz. duno how to close abit later meh?) So bo bian only left with Monday lunch break lor.. Its a good thing Cous told me that after the jab, the arm which took it will feel numbish and nua nua lidat.. So my plan to jab tml was postponed. Also good lar. Later I jab then drop this and that.. Or what so ever.. Thats it. So Monday that is. Today no idea why, I kept listening to Jay Chou's songs only. I even specially made a folder in my co.'s com's iTunes. Ha.. A lil weird coz normally I will mix all chinese songs tgt and have one favourites folder. Budden today I made a Jay Chou's folder. It has played for the 3rd loop now. On shuffle. Its really nice. Esp those slower ones, for now. No idea why. Maybe coz there's loadsa things to do at work alr. So dun really fancy those fast paced ones like 牛仔很忙 & 甜甜的 & 霍元甲, etc.. Budden overall, all is good. =) Will finish up the petty cash if I can before going home today. Else everyone will be chasing me for their money. RAWR. Other stuffs will just put on hold a while lor. TMD. Just got notice that tml got a seminar. So last min. Ask me prepare. Ho seh. !@#$% Hais.. Tml is yet another fast-energy-depletion day. Boo. Guess I will stop here for now. Gonna head home straight after I end work if bro isnt meeting me up or sth. Den gonna go online to meet Joce and Skype with her. Backup my docs and pics and songs in my external and then bath, mask and hit the sack. If not tml sure GG one. =/ BYE. Thanks for your concern & the simple gift. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Wednesday, March 03, 2010 @ 1:45 PM 任贤齐 - 爱的路上只有我和你 任贤齐 - 爱的路上只有我和你 不知道什么时候开始喜欢这里 每个夜里都会来这里看你 你长的这么美丽叫我不能不看你 看不到你我就迷矢了自己 好想牵你的手走过风风雨雨 有什么困难我都陪着你 直到天长地久直到天荒地老 爱的路上只有我和你 不知道什么时候开始喜欢这里 每个夜里都会来这里看你 你长的这么美丽叫我不能不看你 看不到你我就迷矢了自己 有时候你很调皮总是让我着急 一颗心总是为你跳不停 只要一闭上眼睛总有千百万个你 你的影子装满我的脑海里 不能够不想你也不能够忘记你 总是在梦里一直看到你 多想对你说句我是真的爱你 对我的心不要再怀疑 好想牵你的手走过风风雨雨 有什么困难我都陪着你 直到天长地久直到天荒地老 爱的路上只有我和你 好想牵你的手走过风风雨雨 有什么困难我都陪着你 直到天长地久直到天荒地老 爱的路上只有我和你... This song was dedicated with regards to.. .. Even though I only spend less than half a day's worth of time with him (from then till now).. The things he did for me, the things he said, the serious side of him which those whom arent close with him will never see, the thoughts he have for the future, his maturity and that touch of childishness.. Somehow made me see another side of him. Sorry will never be enough to ease that hurt I've implanted. But as I've said. I can be someone whom (if you need) will be there for you, beside you. Just like a buddy, close friend. Just like me & Sebas. Just, not, that. P.S: Sebas & I have never have such a past. Im just stating an example of our f/s. Even though you mentioned that you will wait, but to me, I find it very unfair to you. But you said you didnt mind. I duno what made you think it that way. Budden somehow or rather, whenever I meet up with you; may it be only for a drink or talk about individual worries, the way you care & concern & protect.. Makes me soften yet felt bad. Its like.. urgh! =/ Thats why I have no choice but to sound out to you. Yet, the reply you gave was "I will wait and meanwhile make that obstacle in you ease off." .. .. *faints* Dilemma. =/ He, *sigh* will be other special someone in my life. To be truthful, it has never come across that he will touch my heart with that kinda "seh" (pattern) of his. It never occur to me that apart from him, someone whom I barely know for 4months can walk into a portion of my heart. But because of you.. I still made this decision. I may regret it in the future.. But no matter what, this is a decision I've made. I will just hafta face up to it when that time comes. With that, Im off. Feeling guilty & slightly down, is normal.. Right? =/ I've been avoiding but you didnt bother. I run, you chase. I dunwan to hurt you after knowing what you've *done for me.. Things you did without telling me just so I will be looked after when you arent around, making sure everything is fine. Somehow I dun wish to have sucha privilege.. Coz I duno if I could reciprocate that. BLAH! This is soo eekkk~ =/ *P.S: Somethings do not have to be spoken, by sight, by feel, the answer is there. I wana go clubbing on the 10th (probably). Any takers? Kl? I just need eardrums-bursting music to take my mind away from everything. EVERYTHING. I wonder how my birthday will be celebrated this year.. Somehow or rather, after 21st.. Everything seems so fast-paced that I dun seem exceptionally happy when this "special" day is coming is a month's time.. Sadly, it seems just like any other day.. =( linnLOVEyou♥ |
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@ 9:42 AM A thought to think Certain questions from Cous's blog caught my eye. Which caused me thinking. I shall summarize and put them in point form. - types of ppl in the world - how one can comment on others whereby they themselves are doing the same thing - lie(s) - stories heard from one is different from the other - issit possible to revert back the good image which was once there - conscience No idea why. When I read that portion of the post, it reminds me of a time where Pastor mentioned about Communications. Because due to Communications, certain unneccesary things happen. Things which are supposed to be easily resolved was dragged on or kept in the heart for months, years.. All because we do not dare to speak out or confronting the person involved. Outta all the points above, to me, the most impactful one is the last. Why? Because I find that the rest can be solved by means of time, will, confrontation, blah blah blah. Budden conscience is something whereby only that person him/herself will know truely, wholely. If one's conscience is clear, no matter how bad the misunderstanding is, there shouldnt be much of an effect on him/her. Unless that person whom misunderstood is someone dear to him/her. I forgot how Pastor mentioned about this kinda situation. Budden I do remember him saying that "If you dont speak out, that person will never know what went wrong. If that person never know what went wrong, nothing can be solved. Because all along everything was kept in the heart. So, speak up!" Despite knowing so, somehow or rather, situations around us doesnt allow such luxury. The same goes for every other things. Many times, things happen coz of the situation around us. Its not like we dun wan to try salvaging or what not. Its just that at that point of time, nothing much can be done. Thus, blah blah blah. These few days I've been thinking mostly about one person. Shell. The emotions she'll be going through, etc. To say the truth, unless one really experienced it before, else we will never understand. Like for me, I know she's very hurt & sad. Budden there's like nth I can do other than be there for her. Worst is, Im bad with words verbally. I dun even know how to console someone. Thus, I was silent most of the time during my visit. When I left, I felt like I should've just stayed longer. Sigh. =/ Will stop here for now. Gotta head off to prepare for the conference later at 11am. BYE. When someone dear does not believe what you've said, the hurt is extreme.. What more a kin? Girl, stay strong. As long as you know what you are doing, thats all it matters. Of coz, it will hurt. Coz no matter what, she is a kin. Budden still, you cant fall just due to this. I will cheer you on girl. Jiayou! <3 All things happen for a reason. But whether anot issit a good reason, thats another thing. linnLOVEyou♥ |
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Tuesday, March 02, 2010 @ 10:41 PM Pissed Pissed. Somehow or rather, blog is suppose to be a diary. A personal thing. Right? Right. But for me, it doesnt seem so. First and foremost. If you are one of those whom takes info from my blog just to gossip more about me, fcuk off. Seriously. Next, if you are one of those whom reads my blog just to know about other ppl's thingy thru me, same thing, fcuk off. And, even if you are just curious or trying to be concern.. Please, just fcuk off. Seriously, now I dun even feel like blogging anymore. Coz ppl out there whom are reading my blog are abstracting info from here, so that they can ask or know the status of blah blah blah.. TMD. Grow up. Ok. I admit it was a bad day today. Esp when its sucha tiring one. Conference preparation, getting EXPENSIVE coffee for the guests, prepare the refreshments, make sure the lifts and auditorium doors has the posters up, yada yada yada.. And not forgetting after work stuffs, may it be personal or not, still, there are things to be done. Im seriously terribly sleep deprived. Believe it or not. P.S: Those whom read this and compare yourself to me & what not, tell you what.. Why not you just fcuk off right now? This is my blog. I wana type what I want and rant all I want. I am tired. Thats that. You wana compare? Go compare with someone else. Tml onwards will be tiring days. Tml after work (which aso has conference) still gotta go PL for 4hrs to help Poo cover shift. Not that Im complaining. Just that Im seriously tired. Worst is tml closing is Patrick. Thats it lor. Later he gimma daiji again I thats it liao. Then Thurs gotta find time to go for Thyphoid jab if not later FJ management wana KP me again. And I hafta find time out to take the jab before meeting Hana to get my baju kurong for her wedding. How great. Friday same thing as tml. 4hrs of PL after work. Sat full shift. Sun going product fair with YanJun Jie.. Hoho.. Thats it. Mon going Kbox with KL. Tues going Asian Skin Solution for trial. Wed currently nothing on. Thurs going IT fair. Fri depends whether got PL if not rest. Sat & Sun full fledge "sister" for Hana's wedding. There goes my energy. The current Linn is damn pissed still. Coz I find ppl being selfish. I mean, not that I myself isnt one. Budden please lar, have a certain limit can? Its not like you do sth that you like, that you want, and then you turn around and ask the person if he/she enjoyed him/herself.. Like wtf? You did what you want and what you like. Not what the other person like. So, why in Heaven are you so full of yourself thinking that others will like & enjoy what you have done? Jeez. Im going to ignore. Seriously. If that person is not gonna learn or find out what happen, then thats it. Come to the worst I will just say out what I want, or rather, what I have to. If that person is not gonna learn or digest what I've said (if I did) then thats just too bad. At least I did my part as a friend. Those of you that read this post and start to think who is this person. Forget about it. Its nothing I'd wana talk about. Unless you are extremely confident I will be OK to tell you, then ask me. If not, forget it. And if you are planning to ask others about this issue, please. Stop. If not, you are forcing me to privatise my blog. And no. I will only give that handful people whom I trust. And no. Dont think you are close with me now/last time and you can have the invitation.. Because I know what you (especially you) are doing. SO. Before I turn nasty, fcuk off yourself. Or think twice. Thrice. Before talking about others about me. About this issue. If you are not gonna respect and stick to our agreement, then Im sorry. Its not like I did not hint you or warned you. You yourself stick to your own thinking insisting that by doing so, I can ______ much faster. No. You are wrong. So wrong. Have you realised your mistake? Yet? If yes, I hope you control yourself. If not, then come to the worst; even if it hurts, I will sound out straight infront of you. If you still do the same thing, then it'll be the end. I mean it. Why am I so pissed is coz you promised but you broke it. Why am I so pissed is coz you did what you want and not what I want; whereby everytime you say you will "listen" to what I say/want. Why am I so pissed is coz despite me telling you not to, you still do so; thus, not respecting me at all. Why am I so pissed is coz you always take the advantage of doing things your way instead of mine (its not like I cannot follow your way budden for this issue, you know & you know that it has to be my way). Reminder!!: Stop guessing or jumping into conclusion. Final warning. If you go about and ask around and what not. Dun blame me for privatising my blog. Think before you act. linnLOVEyou♥ |